The psychology of a family photo shoot

Portrait photography is a fascinating genre because it is one where camera skills are just part of the story - people skills are just as important. Today I want to delve into the psychology of a family photo shoot and share some tips and ideas to help you when photographing children and families.

I do believe that it helps to really like people if you are choosing a career as a family photographer as it’s a genre that is all about empathy. Kids are wonderful, inspiring, full of joy, but they can also be deeply frustrating and contrary - there’s nothing like a two-year-old for knowing what you want them to do and then doing the opposite. But I enjoy this, it’s the unpredictability of this genre of portraiture that makes it such fun and over the years I’ve developed some great techniques for getting the best out of people while keeping the spontaneity which result in meaningful photos.

Building trust is essential as a family photographer and something I work on from the moment of first contact with my clients. My website, and my blog in particular, are designed to instil confidence. I’ve been working as a family photographer for 23 years and I’ve done thousands of sessions with many different families in big houses and small, with tiny ones and teenagers. I am a safe pair of hands.

When I arrive, I’m immediately working to put people at ease - I’m a stranger coming into their home and building trust is essential. Everything I do is thought through to show respect for them, their home, and their personal space, as I get to know people gently.

I’ll be looking around for clues to the people I’m working with, looking for points of connection that we can bond around. This might be pictures on the wall, evidence of hobbies or interests, anything that I can use as a clue to ask a question. I’ll be asking about their home, what do they like about the area, asking about the parents’ jobs and interests. I usually start by chatting to the parents, so the kids have a chance to get used to me.

When talking to little ones I’ll get down to their level, crouching down to introduce myself so our faces are level, I don’t want to be intimidating. If they are sat at the table or in a highchair when I arrive, I’m careful not to get between them and their parents, kids will come to say hello when they are ready, and some little ones are very shy with new people. Others will grab my hand as soon as I enter the house keen to show me their toys or request a story. I go with the flow, taking clues from conversation and body language and adjusting myself accordingly.

If children are outgoing and keen to have their pictures taken then I’ll work with their ideas and excitement. I want to maximise their enjoyment, and my opportunities. Some children will be full of energy first thing and get tired later in the morning. Others will be shy and take time to warm up, in this case I’ll try to get outside first thing as having space to run around helps with shy children as they don’t feel crowded.

Using activities really helps when photographing children as they forget the camera quickly once they are being thrown in the air or playing a game of hide and seek. This strategy is also helpful if you are photographing a child who has a ‘photo smile’. I want natural expressions and genuine smiles and so I must work through the face pulling. I find if I draw attention to a cheesy grin then it usually gets worse but other times I do need to tell children, or adults, to put their tongues away. If people are interacting or laughing, then usually the expressions take care of themselves.

Interactions with children are also a consideration when making lens choices - I like to work in a conversational space and so I choose lenses where the minimum focus distance is not too long. I want to be able to sit on the floor and play a game while I’m taking pictures and not need to be six feet away.

My favourite lenses are the Canon RF 50mm F1.2L (minimum focus distance 0.4m), the Canon RF 35mm F1.4L VCM (minimum focus distance 0.28) and the Canon RF 24-105mm F2.8 which also has a minimum focus distance of 0.28m for the full length of the zoom. This means I can be discussing Peppa Pig while taking pictures and getting the genuine expressions that are the reward of true conversation.

One of the fabulous things about working with kids is they are straightforward in their approach. They will tell you if they are having fun - or if they are hungry, or bored - and so you can work to their interests and energy levels. I will get a sense of timings beforehand by asking clients for their children’s schedules, if they normally have a nap or a mid-morning snack it’s good to know so I can factor that in.

I usually take off about 30 minutes from the parents estimates as photo shoot day is energetic and exciting. If a little one usually gets tired and has a nap at 12.30, I’ll expect that at 12. It’s good to pre-plan to ensure a successful day.

There will be ups and downs to the day and this works well for photos; I like to have a mix of exuberant and excited alongside quiet calm moments. I will use tone of voice to calm things down - or ramp them up - as needed and activities like a family story are a great way to quieten things down after jumping on the bed. Body language and tone of voice are often overlooked as powerful tools to control the energy of the room.

Children will be guided by the adults around them and the adults will be guided by me. If I’m calm, then parents don’t get flustered. If parents are having a great time, then kids will enjoy themselves too. Even if there is a meltdown - and working with toddlers it happens - if we, as photographers remain calm, then it’s usually quickly solved. When in doubt a chocolate biscuit and a story go a long way to restoring equilibrium with children.

Portrait photography is about rapport - the connection made between photographer and subject. When photographing families sometimes this is very conscious, eye contact is made and everyone is very camera aware. At other times the family have forgotten the camera, engaged in a game or an activity they are fully immersed in each other. But, to get to that stage, to that point where they can forget the camera, takes a huge leap of trust.

My job is to earn that trust quickly, to put my subjects at ease and to allow them to be vulnerable in front of the lens. I want to tell their authentic story and to reward this trust with images they will love. It’s a huge privilege and I hope these insights today will open up some new ideas for you and give you some new techniques for photographing the people you love.

“It is an illusion that photos are made with the camera… they are made with the eye, heart, and head.” Cartier-Bresson